Gays Are Not Healthy for You and Other Living Things

It used to be that war was not healthy for children and other living things. But In the post-modern world, with drone attacks and a volunteer military, society has transcended this issue, finding a new and deeper problem. Yup, nowdays the problem is gays, lesbians and same-sex marriage. Multiple problems, in fact. As many problems as, well, there are bigots patriots to spout them.

Here's a top-ten sampling (followed by a smattering of ridiculous arguments to the contrary).



Ten Incredibly Important Reasons Why Gays and Marriage Equality Are Not Healthy for Children and Other Living Things:

• 10. The contagion problem: The medical profession recognizes that they're a disease carrying nasty threat to society. NOM supporter via ThinkProgress.
  


• 9. The agricultural problem: A potato is not a turnip. New Hampshire Legislator, declaiming on why marriage equality was a bad idea, via Daily Kos
  


• 8. The cruelty to animals problem: If same-sex was marriage legal, people might marry goats. Dave Davison, via Prop8TrialTracker
  


• 7. The educational resources problem: The immediate consequence, if gay marriage goes through, is that K-12 little children will be forced to learn that homosexuality is normal, natural and perhaps they should try it. Michelle Bachmann
  


• 6. The family values problem: Because being a fag doesn't give you the right to ruin the rest of our lives... I would disown my kids if they were gay. They will not be welcome at my home or in my vicinity. I will absolutely run them off. Clint McCance, Arkansas school board member
  


• 5. The guilt by association problem: Public officials, who willingly and with approval facilitate the legal sanctioning of same-sex unions are involving themselves in cooperation with evil. Roman Catholic Bishop, Worcester, MA
  


• 4. The statutory rape problem: Allowing them to wed would lead to efforts to lower the age at which teenagers can legally have sex with adults. Hak-Shing William Tam, in testimony during Perry v. Schwarzenegger
  


• 3. The transcendent problem of why evil exists: What homosexuals and homosexuality are, is an evil abomination in the eyes of God, a blemish on the face of God's creation. Campaign Aginst Homosexuality
  


• 2. The Goodwin's Law problem: Many of those people involved with Adolph Hitler were Satanists, many of them were homosexuals. The two things seem to go together. Pat Robertson
  


• 1. The Wrath of God problem: AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals. Jerry Falwell
  

Ten Stupid Reasons Agin 'em That Only Count for Lib'ruls and Other Deginerates:

• We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Thomas Jefferson
  



• No State shall... deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws. 14th Amendment, United States Constitution
  



• Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival... Loving v. Virginia
  



• Its sheer breadth is so discontinuous with the reasons offered for it that the amendment seems inexplicable by anything but animus toward the class that it affects; it lacks a rational relationship to legitimate state interests... The resulting disqualification of a class of persons from the right to seek specific protection from the law is unprecedented in our jurisprudence. Romer v Evans
  



• If gay and lesbian people must submit to different treatment without an exceedingly persuasive justification, they are deprived of the benefits of the principle of equal protection upon which the rule of law is founded. Varnum v. Brien
  



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• If someone is brave enough to take a bullet for the USA, then they should have the same equal rights guaranteed to every American under the law -- whether they are serving in the military, or when they come home. Howard Dean
  



• Don't Ask, Don't Tell violates the First and Fifth Amendments to the United States Constitution... Don't Ask, Don't Tell violates LGBT personnel's substantive due process rights, as articulated in Lawrence v. Texas, associated with the 'autonomy of self' that includes freedom of thought, belief, expression, and certain intimate conduct. Log Cabin Republicans v United States
  



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