- Julian Domain's diary :: ::
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
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“This week, we sadly lost two young men who took their own lives for one unacceptable reason: they were being bullied and harassed because they were openly gay or believed to be gay. These unnecessary tragedies come on the heels of at least three other young people taking their own lives because the trauma of being bullied and harassed for their actual or perceived sexual orientation was too much to bear.Actually, it’s time for the Obama administration and our national LGBT advocacy organizations to actively push for the passage of the Student Nondiscrimination Act (SNDA) and the Safe Schools Improvement Act (SSIA).
“This is a moment where every one of us – parents, teachers, students, elected officials, and all people of conscience – needs to stand up and speak out against intolerance in all its forms. Whether it’s students harassing other students because of ethnicity, disability or religion; or an adult, public official harassing the President of the University of Michigan student body because he is gay, it is time we as a country said enough. No more. This must stop.”
Just stop it. You aren't convincing anyone or winning anybody over. I believe sexuality is an immutable characteristic like skin color, but if you can hide in a closet to keep from suffering it's consequences, than the discrimination you suffer is nowhere near Jim Crow if for no other reason than you can't hide from it.Hide in the closet? Really? For a transsexual person, hiding in the closet is tantamount to dying, because what you are counseling is to not transition. If that were possible, there wouldn't have been the crisis point which leads to the transitioning.
--Link
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
We say to lots of people who suffer routine abuse at the hands of another to "Call 911." This only works if a crime is in progress. Sometimes after the cops have shown up, and it is your word against your abuser, the cops will tell you "There is nothing we can do. Call a lawyer. This is Civil not Criminal." I know this first hand as a survivour of domestic violence.
So what is the difference? A criminal matter is when the government files a lawsuit against a private citizen and/or corporation. In a civil matter an individual files. The government, will only file charges if they can prove a crime has been committed. Visible wounds to the victim, the victim's statement, witnesses to the assault. There will then be a trial where the government prosecutes the defense and the defense is either made to pay a fine directly to the government or be incarcerated by the government.
If it is a verbal dispute between two people, hearsay, they will take a statement from both parties as substantive evidence in any future pending litigation. The party wishing to file civil charges will retain a lawyer and present evidence in support of their civil case. The case will be heard by a judge who will decide if damages should be ordered. This is a simplified explanation of the differences between criminal and civil law, yet, it should bring understanding as to why in many cases the police can do nothing to help you.
In civil cases there are steps you should take in order to build a strong case against the defendant.
1. Keep a Journal: Write down the date, time, name of the assailants, clothing they were wearing, where it took place, names of any witnesses, what was said and what physically took place.
2. Take pictures: If you sustained any injury at the time of the incident. Wait until you are safe and take pictures of your injuries. Make copies and keep the originals in a safe place.
3. Make a complaint: If you are a grade school student, talk to your Guidance Counselour, Principal or Asst. Principal. Bring copies, never the originals, of your evidence. Like any other person of authority they like to know all "i"s are dotted and "t"'s are crossed. Make sure you take notes during your meeting of whom you spoke to and the correct spelling of their names along with the date of your meeting, the time it began and the time it ended.
4. Follow Up: After you have filed your complaint with the school authorities, follow up with a written letter thanking them by name for their time, mention the meeting, what you spoke about, the evidence you presented, any promises that they made to you and the time frame they gave you for these promises. Mail it certified mail and keep the Certified Mail tracking stub originals with your other originals.
5. Go to a higher authority: If nothing happens within the time frame, send another follow up letter AND a letter to their supervisors. Mention in the 2nd follow up letter that their supervisors, Mr/Ms X, has been notified of the situation. Mention in the letter to their supervisors your previous meeting with x, y and z. Give a brief out line of the incidences, the meeting, what was said, and what was promised. Send this letter Certified Mail.
6. Call your lawyer: Give them copies of your evidence, the letters, any telephone/cell phone records proving contact with the school and the Certified Mail stubs. They will know how to press charges and the detailed evidence you have collected will help in litigation. In Civil law you have to be your own investigator unless your lawyer suggests different. Your lawyer will also let you know what is and is not submissible in court.
The timing of the news was almost uncanny, coinciding with the start of “Project Civility” at Rutgers, the state university of New Jersey. Long in the planning, the campaign will involve panel discussions, lectures, workshops and other events intended to raise awareness about the importance of respect, compassion and courtesy in everyday interactions.Tyler was an accomplished violinist who was attending Rutgers on a college scholarship from the Ridgewood Symphony Orchestra for his musicianship and leadership. His family released a statement earlier today:
Events scheduled for this fall include a workshop for students and administrators on residential life on campus, called “Respect Resides at Rutgers,” and a panel discussion titled “Uncivil Gadgets? Changing Technologies and Civil Behavior.”
“Tyler was a fine young man, and a distinguished musician. The family is heartbroken beyond words. They respectfully request that they be given time to grieve their great loss and that their privacy at this painful time be respected by all.”A memorial page for Tyler has been set up on Facebook. Nearly 6,000 people have joined the page as of 9:30 EST this evening.
“Our hearts go out to the families of these young men and we feel a deep sense of sorrow and regret for these needless tragedies,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen. “We blame the anti-gay industry for fighting measures to end bullying in schools, and school officials who turn a blind eye to brutality. We are fed up with what amounts to anti-gay schoolyard muggings that are foolishly dismissed as ‘boys being boys’. In reality, it is ‘boys beating boys’, and these bullies receive tacit approval for their violent, homophobic behavior by teachers and certain vocal segments of society.”Through their annual “Day of Truth” campaign and TrueTolerance.org web site, Focus on the Family and the “ex-gay” group Exodus International actively and continuously obstruct anti-bullying programs in schools across the country. Instead of opposing violence, both organizations remain dedicated to pretending the problem of anti-gay bullying does not exist, or downplaying the deadly results.
“The goal of Exodus International and Focus on the Family is to purge LGBT people from society, although they disingenuously frame the issue as eliminating homosexuality, which is not possible,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen. “When you target homosexuality, the result is persecution and punishment of LGBT people, and in many cases it leads to gay bashing or suicides. The anti-gay industry should dismantle these despicable programs and work towards creating solutions instead of suicides.”In September, there have been three gay teen suicides as a result of school bullying:
Dave Navarro |
Ok everybody, here is the deal. I cannot imagine what it’s like growing up in a close minded environment and being gay, bi or trans-gender. I don’t think any of us who aren’t can possibly imagine. The strength and character it must take to stay true to yourself in such an unforgiving microcosm are qualities that a major portion of the world lacks… Sad, but true. It’s just how it is at the moment. However, it’s that very strength and character that gives the world hope for a new way of thinking and acceptance in the future and when one of our children gives in and gives up, it is not only a tragedy but a victory for those who fear diversity. DO NOT LET THEM WIN! I know how overwhelming the feelings can get and how small the reality can feel, but the bottom line is that this is but a drop in the bucket in terms of the magnitude of life. You can get through this. High school is full of plenty of bullies and fear based hate, as is the world. With any group of people comes a percentage of people who just don’t get it and probably will never get it. That’s OK. We all deal with this to an extent. The truth is that in High School, you are kind of stuck in the group you are a part of until graduation, but trust me… You can pick and choose who you associate with and there are plenty of like-minded people in the world that are understanding, accepting and loving. Sometimes, we just have to stick it out to meet them. The hard cold reality is that once you have chosen suicide, that’s it. No going back. Sure, there is a public outcry and MAYBE the bullies feel remorse for a while, but it all dies down, life goes on, the bullies let the memory fade and get on with their lives. They learn to laugh, love, reach their goals and in many cases go on to have a full and productive life. Who loses? You do! Your family! Your friends! Other teens who need support in this area! Oh yeah… We all Lose! Now the world has one less mind that is open and different and unique and sensitive. Instead, we inherit the bullies, the fear, the set back… Our world has one less soul to help it evolve with a new level of clarity. Personally, I have seen a lot of darkness and tragedy that has felt insurmountable. The murder of my mother, my battle with drug addiction, the loss of friends and family. Utter depression and despair. Of course the thought of suicide has crossed my mind a time or two. Let me share this. THANK GOD I never took that action. The friends I have made, the experiences I have had, the laughter I have shared would have all been missed. In hindsight, some of my darkest moments now seem so small and insignificant that I am amazed I gave them so much power at the time. I am even able to laugh about it now. When I think back to the times I have considered ending it all I end up saying to myself, “What was I thinking?” To those of you contemplating such a course, please do us a favor. Seek counseling first. Find a network of people who have gone through what you are going through. Help others in even more turmoil than you. I am certain that you can find peace. As you know, our society and political climate is SO divided right now. We need your voice. The world at large needs your sheer existence in order to come to terms with itself and where we are going as a planet and species.Thank you, Dave Navarro.
Hayley Gorenberg Deputy Legal Director "We must act urgently and do everything in our power to end the prejudice and protect our youth. |