Dear Family Research Council: Stop Hating, Start Accepting

By Adam Amel Rogers -

The Southern Poverty Law Center, a legendary organization in the fight against organized bigotry, recently designated a handful of anti-gay organizations, including the Family Research Council (FRC), as hate groups. The designation is based on “dissemination of false and demonizing propaganda about gays and lesbians.”
The hate group designation prompted a full-force response from FRC that has included a newspaper advertisement signed by several anti-gay members of Congress, including House Speaker-designate John Boehner. The ad is part of a new campaign called “Start Debating, Stop Hating,” which accuses LGBT groups of resorting to calling them haters without debate.
We are tired of debating. We are tired of justifying why we deserve equality and dignity.  It is impossible to debate with people who are not coming from a place of respect or demonstrating a willingness to listen.
I will not debate my rights with the Family Research Council. Critics would say that I am being rigid, hypocritical and intolerant, but I could not disagree more.  Our journey toward equality has been completely demoralizing at times. We have endured the embarrassment of watching our fellow citizens vote on whether we deserve the same rights as everyone else, we have watched commercials that portray us as monsters who are trying to corrupt your children, and we periodically tune into C-SPAN to see our country’s leaders use our lives as fodder for political maneuvering. Forgive me if I am not eager to get into a debate on whether I am deserving of equality.
I do agree with the second part of FRC’s campaign though – the part that says “Stop Hating.” I am thrilled that SPLC finally added these organizations to the hate group database, because the fact is that when your measurement of success as an organization is the denial of equality to an entire group of people, you are a hate group.
In a world that is overran with causes that deserve the time, money and attention of a so-called Christian organization, they take the money of Christians and spend it on holding back an entire classification of people from being able to enjoy the same rights that they do.
At this moment, thousands of young gay people are excited for the holiday school break, because it means a respite from the anti-gay bullying they face each day, yet the FRC continues to fight anti-bullying efforts and their answer to those being harassed is that the harassment will stop when you begin denying who you are.
Right now, gay parents are working to create a special Christmas for their children, and the Family Research Council is dedicating resources to make it more difficult for children to be adopted into gay households.
People who want to be able to fight for their country and live an open and honest life at the same time are forced to hide who they are, in part because FRC dedicates such a significant portion of their operating budget to fight against DADT repeal efforts.
Please take a moment to sign a petition letting FRC president and patriarch of the anti-gay movement Tony Perkins know that rights, equality and love are not for them to debate.

 petition text -

Stop Hating and Start Accepting

Dear Tony Perkins,
Your new “Start Debating, Stop Hating” campaign brings together an impressive coalition of conservative tastemakers and you have established yourself as a true patriarch of the anti-gay movement. How truly unfortunate that so much power, influence, time and money has not been dedicated to an actual worthwhile cause. If only your coalition got together and decided to eradicate hunger or a disease or do something that really makes the world better.
You are correct about one thing though – I am not interested in debating with you, because the rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual & transgender people is not something that you get to debate. I don’t feel I have the right to debate your ability to worship, your right to marry the person you love, your right to not get fired or killed simply because of who you love or your right to serve our great nation because of who you are. So why do you think that you should get to debate those rights for LGBT Americans?
We have had enough debate. We have endured the embarrassment of watching our fellow citizens vote on whether we deserve the same rights as everyone else, we have watched commercials that portray us as monsters who are trying to corrupt your children, and we periodically tune into C-SPAN to see our country’s leaders use our lives as fodder for political maneuvering. Forgive me if I am not eager to get into a debate on whether I am deserving of equality.
The sad part is that you truly do not seem to understand the dire consequences of your leadership.
Right now, thousands of young gay people are excited for the Christmas break, because it means a respite from the anti-gay bullying they face each day, yet you continue to fight anti-bullying efforts and your answer to those being harassed is that the harassment will stop when you begin denying who you are.
Right now, gay parents are working to create a special Christmas for their children, and the Family Research Council is dedicating resources to make it more difficult for children to be adopted into gay households.
People who want to be able to fight for their country and live an open and honest life at the same time are forced to hide who they are, in part because you dedicate such a significant portion of your operating budget to counter “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal efforts.
The bottom line is that your measurement of success coincides with my measurement of inequality and when my rights are obstructed, your organization celebrates.
How sad for you. It is time for your group to stop hating and start accepting.
[Your name here]

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