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Thursday, January 27, 2011

“We Wanted to Be a Family”

By Freedom to Marry -

Why do people get married? There are plenty of practical reasons that might not be so romantic – but for most of us, it's to bring a relationship to the next level. It's a declaration of love and commitment in front of family, friends, and the world. That was the reason for Chris Herbert and Tim Long. Their wedding north of New York City last fall happened to get a bit of a higher profile by being featured in Martha Stewart Weddings (Chris is Martha's nephew).

Chris and Tim dated for several years before deciding to tie the knot. Like many couples, they met through work – Tim is a pianist and conductor, and Chris isa classical singer. After an audition by Chris at the Aspen Music Festival, Tim says he just couldn't get him out of his head. The pair connected through music, after a while started dating, then finally moved in together in New York.

While on a family vacation in 2009 they decided to take the next big step. "We wanted to be a family – officially," Tim says. When they broke the news to relatives who were on vacation with them, Chris says it triggered a "big group family hug." And when Aunt Martha found out a few days later, she graciously offered her farm as a venue. The next year, the happy couple had a legal ceremony in Massachusetts that coincided with a family reunion, then repeated their vows at a wedding with Martha's horse stables as the backdrop on a gorgeous day.

Chris and Tim feel lucky that their parents were so supportive, since they realize that not all gay couples have that. Indeed, one of their reasons for getting married was to bring their two families together. They are also mindful of the fact that gay couples can't get married in most of America. Tim points out,"The fact that we have to fight for marriage forces us to really consider what it's really about."

Freedom to Marry is proud to be working with groups to win the freedom to marry in New York.


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