Freaking Out About Non-Binary Individuals & Couples by Jo LeGall

By Jo LeGall

When a society dies and another rises from it's ashes it is only reborn and hopefully a bit wiser than the last incarnation. Our society was born from dissent of the class, religious, racial and financial restrictions of the past society. A bit simplistic yet close to the truth. Though the social restrictions were tweaked, changed or abolished entirely we still adopted the social binary system from the previous few social incarnations.
There is always a continuous fight over adoption of laws that seek to restrict class, wealth, race and religion. We have only had one previous battle over our social binary system, before the current battle for non-binary couples, and that was for one group of non-binary individuals; independent women. Women who no longer wanted to be forced into the pretense that they were the "weaker", "inferior" and/or "submissive" sex.
I would say that it was only after Hitler's great adaptation of United States Eugenics theory and the ultimate horror of innocents being tortured, starved, experimented on, gassed and burned that the world took notice. Even them I am not sure if the fight was to save the people or protect the wealth of nations threatened. Before Hitler, and long after his death, the United States Eugenics program continued well into the 1970s.
Ironic that is when the LGBT community also started fighting back from being involuntarily committed, treated to shock therapy, sterilisation, experimental medication and the like as punishment for their "perversion" of the binary. "Deviant behaviour" they called it, where men and women adopted the "sexual and social behaviour" of their binary opposites. A deviation from the binay system. Against the "social nature" of the binary. A dire grievance against society they claim.
Eugenics was seen as a way to cure the Human Race, although the Neo-Nazis and the KKK eliminate the human part to that as they believe the White race IS the ONLY race, of impurity, inferior stock and create a stronger human. As the binary is seen as our societal model then those who are non-binary are seen as the inferior stock to be eliminated.
The physically feminine men, the physically masculine women, the sexually feminine men, the sexually masculine women, the feminine sounding men, the masculine sounding women, any trans sexual or gender queer, those with no sexual drive, and dependent upon which societal group we are in the lesser qualities each group qualifies as non-binary.
The stay-at-home father, the working mother, single parents, because they believe the binary must always be present in all of society for society to continue existing. There must be a man and a woman. There must be a physically, sexually masculine man who sounds like a man with the high sex drive of a man paired with a physically, sexually feminine woman who sounds like a woman with the lower sex drive of a woman who then produce perfectly binary children. That is their idea of perfect society.
Human normalcy had to be "standardized", medically and psychologically. A normal human has functional limbs, easily identifiable genitalia, a binary gender identity that matched physical genitalia and gender behaviour according to their side of the binary as identified through visual sex. Those who do not are abnormal, not fully human, inferior and must be cured, re-educated or purged. Today's society has only abolished the last and barely protested the first. At birth a doctor glances to see which category of the binary we are on and that becomes our official status in society.
Today's society does not fit that strict binary image. The family is not a perfect binary family, the individuals are not perfectly binary and neither are the couples. This is the war that is waging not simply between the LGBT community and the religious fundamentalists but between the binary fundamentalists and singles, unmarried couples, non-binary aka non-nuclear families, feminists, the poor, immigrants and the races.
We are not immune. The LGBT or GLBT or TLGB or whatever letter you wish to put first or exclude entirely is not in the fight alone. We are simply focused on one hillside to be captured or lost and the outcome will impact all of society. When Prop 8 is finally struck down parents everywhere will finally have full equal rights and hopefully, the gender privilege of parenting will legally end. The major threat to families in society is not non-binary individuals and couples, it is the binary itself.
The incorrect information provided to us at a young age that we must adhere to certain social rules based on visual sex and that all those we encounter will behave according to these social rules. Yes, even in same-sex relationships. The social rule society perpetuates that gay people are promiscuous, body conscious, vain, materialistic and habitually fit or that all women love and nurture babies and men do not. That is the number one cause of divorce; the inability to get to know the individual we date in lieu of what society tells us they should be, act and believe.
No wonder after 16 years of marriage some people realise not only are they married to an utter stranger but they are also a stranger to themselves. It is also why the younger generation cannot seem to last more than 1 year married. They have no patience with the pretense that older couples adopted years ago in order to create the illusion of that perfect binary family. In order to have a solid family and relationship we must be true to, and happy with, ourselves. One day society may finally realise that there is no man and wo-man; there is only human.

crossposted at the tiny voice of reason